Alistair, what big teeth you have!

In a recent exercise my students practiced their first prepositional phrases;

“Where is the pen?”

“It is on the desk!!”

“Where is Alistair?”

“He is under the desk!”

“Where is Andrew?”

“Andrew Sensei is in the desk!”

“...what?”

...and so on.

Eventually they were given a work sheet in which they were asked to draw a room as we described it to them. The Japanese teacher I work with decided to include Alistair, which meant that I received around 60 drawings of Alistair from my 13 year old students. While it didn't feel right to take photos of their work to post online, I did recreate some of my favorites in Microsoft paint.

And here they are. My beloved alligator became a platypus, a bumpy snake, and a fanged cardboard box. Very adorable. I think Alistair was flattered but he never says anything, so it's hard to tell.

Later the crazy artwork continued when Libby and I played “Pictionary” with the Junior High English club. I was drawing a shark for my team, when one of the students blurted out “Is it a Coelacanth?” (pronounced 'sea-la-canth') I was so surprised I almost let the timer run out. Keep in mind that this student is still learning basic verbs in her first year English class, and she knows the name of an obscure South African fish in English. I don't think my students will ever stop surprising me.

Here is a picture of a Coelacanth, taken from the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. They were thought to be extinct (since the time of the dinosaurs) until a scientist noticed the denizens of an African fishing village patching their bicycle tires with its hide.

On a wholly different note, I noticed that I had a number of random food photographs in my camera files. I like food, and I like taking pictures of my food, so now I will enjoy showing you my food.

First, I made Spam sushi last week. I found a can of Spam at the local foreign foods store for 500 yen (about $6 with current exchange rates). It was expensive, but it was well worth it. This culinary triumph, called “Spam musubi” was invented in Hawaii, where it is very popular. Supposedly Barack Obama (a Hawaii native, in case you missed the multiple releases of his birth certificate) is a big fan of Spam musubi, and now I can say I am too!

Here's my dinner from earlier tonight. Pot-stickers and potato salad from the Japanese deli. Potato salad is really popular here in Japan, and is served in many bento boxes (think a compartmentalized lunch-box).

I found some ready-made curry at the grocery store with Pokemon on it. I bought some because I am an adult.

Last Friday I went to the Pizza Hut which is in the first floor of my apartment building. I got the pizza with extra cheese, although the squid and mayonnaise pizza was awfully tempting. (I kid, I do not believe you can get a pizza with these two ingredients together...you have to order them separately)

Finally, here are the current contents of my freezer. Haagen Daas is a major ice cream seller here in Japan, but the flavors are very different from the ones we have in America. Vanilla and Strawberry are the only two favorites that seem to have made it across the pacific. Caramel, Green Tea, Mango, and Rum Raisin are the major flavors I've been able to find.

Also, you can buy little bags of frozen hash-brown bites for $1.00 here. People come to Japan with the idea that they'll lose weight eating traditional Japanese foodstuffs- but with all the choices of fried foods and sweets it's very difficult!

In my next post I will show off my handsome collection of Japanese junk-mail, but until then おやすみなさい！

-Andrew

Fantastical Creatures!

Many years from now I will sit down with a small herd of my grandchildren and pull at my long white beard while I tell them about Japan. There will probably be stories about samurai and geisha, and how Totoro really was my neighbor. This will all be fabricated, of course, but given my present luck with facial hair I imagine my beard will be too. Hopefully the grand-kids will understand. One of the true stories I will tell them will be about my trip to Osaka, which begins thusly:

When I went to Osaka, I kinda stuck out. Firstly, it was hot and sunny so I was sweating buckets like I usually do (I have only ever seen two Japanese people sweat). Also, I had been expecting sudden rain showers because: a. there was a typhoon heading toward the coast, and b. there had been abrupt downpours for the last two days. So I had my umbrella. Of course it was beautifully sunny all day and no one else in sight had an umbrella because they had gotten the memo. Alas. I also had my backpack from college with dragons and koi painted on, which I imagine was unusual. This I didn't mind so much, because my backpack was for carrying loot.

You see, I had come to Osaka with a mission. Something I have wanted to do since I was nine years old. I think this photo explains everything:

The common theme for the day asserted itself right away- it was really crowded in there. This was partly my fault for visiting in the middle of a three-day weekend, but also I think they were holding some kind of event that particular Sunday. I had been hoping for a leisurely browse through the variety of Pokemon merchandise, but instead I was stuck mostly catching glimpses of things as I shuffled past in a crush of people. (I noticed that there were just as many unaccompanied adults as children)

This was a little hard for me because I had never seen so many things Pokemon in one place before. As a kid (when I was more into Pokemon than I am now...I think) I remember feeling lucky when they had just restocked the little Pokemon corner at Target. Then there would be maybe five different kinds of stuffed toy, a few different plastic figurines, and some trading card packs. Anyway, at this store they had hundreds of stuffed toys and figurines. They also had stationary, hats, shirts, snacks, and an assortment of other toys (including a pikachu that dances if you clap for it). The end result was that I had the very real desire to bury myself under the pile of pikachu toys and hide there until the mall closed, only to frolic about once the lights went out.

One of the coolest parts of being there was seeing all the small children who were getting just as excited as I was at their age. Pokemon was created 15 years ago, and it still seems to be going strong.

Anyway, once I had chosen my souvenirs and waited in the 10 minute line to get to the cash register, the cashier told me that I could go enter in the tombola with my receipt because I had made a purchase of a certain amount. I thanked her and stepped aside to put my loot into my backpack before getting my prize. Apparently this would not do- appearing to the world like a lost customer, I found myself beset by a clerk who led me graciously yet forcefully to the prize table. Nodding and repeatedly thanking the clerk for taking such good care of me I was shown by two other clerks how to spin the wheel that would drop a colored ball and thus dictate what kind of prize I won. Exhibiting my finer motor skills I spun the contraption and out dropped...a red ball! “What does that mean?” I asked the smiling diviners of plastic spheres. It meant that I got a sticker. I think this shows just how dedicated Japanese customer service is- the valued customer might only get a sticker, but the staff will be damned if the customer somehow misses that opportunity and thus leaves feeling unfulfilled.

After disentangling myself, my umbrella, and my sticker from the horde of Pokemon fans, I made my way back to the train depot-

-which was very large. My next destination was on a small man-made island in the bay of Osaka, but I'm pleased to say that I got there by generally looking clueless and repeating the name of the station to anyone in uniform. (This involved taking a subway that was, deceptively, three stories above the ground) My destination was Osaka's famous aquarium “Kaiyukan,” but like the Pokemon center I was not the only one who had that plan in mind.

(There was an amusement park next-door with a ferris wheel, it looked equally popular.)

Once inside, I began to snap as many photos as I could, but this was difficult with so many people jockeying for position at the exhibit windows. So I ended up with many blurry photos with better pictures of the other people than the animals-

(Jellyfish and man's pointer finger)

(Spotted seal and striped woman)

(Capybara and Docomo cellphone)

(Eagle Ray and Toddler)

Eventually I gave up and started intentionally taking photos of my co-visitors-

(This shirt says “The decoration given to the pure thing which has a heart strongly so that it may be fine in the sky tomorrow I wrap all the young men looking for something.” This gives you a vague idea of what I correct in my students papers.)

I finally stopped trying to take pictures, realizing that I would become very crabby if I continued.

(Okay, this is actually a shed lobster carapace, but close enough.)

So I did my best to take everything in with my eyes instead of my camera, and I started to really enjoy myself. One of the better exhibits had seals and sea lions inside, one of whom was trying to sleep while its offspring climbed all over it. The capybaras were also pretty fun- a sign titled “secrets of capybaras” extolled “lets pay attention to their bodies!” And when I was done being a capybara voyeur I got to see what I had come to the aquarium for.

The Kaiyukan is famous for having a whale shark, and they capitalize on this in a big way given that their icon is a whale shark among other things. This particular shark was named Yu-chan, which amused me because “chan” is usually a suffix given to someone who is small and cute. I watched her swim around her tank a few times and was surprised at two things; one, that she seemed so small, and two, that she had a badly injured fin. At the time I got a little cross at the aquarium, thinking that they had mistreated her, but later I did some research and found that the Kaiyukan gets most of its whale sharks through rescue operations. Yu-chan had gotten tangled in a fishing net before she was rescued by the aquarium's research team and moved to a special facility. I'm assuming she sustained the scarred pectoral fin during that fishing accident. Second, I found out that Yu-chan is small because she's only five or so years old. Whale sharks reach sexual maturity at age 25 or so, so the whale shark I saw was very literally a baby. The aquarium knows that it has limited space, so it keeps only young sharks and then releases them while the animal is still of a manageable size. So far there have been around 10 different whale sharks that the aquarium has saved, displayed, and released.

So yeah, I was pretty taken with her. And because the glass windows were large enough I took a few pictures of her over people's heads...

...but then the other fish got in the way...

...and she blurred.

So finally I just asked politely and the aquarium staff took her out of the tank so we could get a nice photo together.

Before I left the aquarium and my new-found shark-crush, I had some octopus balls for dinner.

On my way back to the train station I tried to take a photo of the local pachinko parlor, but it was getting too dark. It says “It is strong in time, and it is gently to time tough at time.”

And that, grand-kids, is how your grandfather went to Osaka Japan.

-Andrew

Another Typical Day at the Offce

Good evening from rainy Japan!

With another two tropical storms due, it's been a little wet here in Kyoto. I've found that rain takes itself very seriously here in Japan, where downpours are more common than drizzles and buying a 200 yen umbrella is a bad idea.

Mercifully the shopping mall I went to this afternoon had some well-made umbrellas for sale. Thus, I am the proud new owner of a much larger, much plaid-er rain protection device.

The actual purpose of my going to the shopping mall was not to buy an umbrella. I wish I could say my purpose was that noble. Instead, I went to buy a fanny pack. In my ever-continuing efforts to get regular exercise, I noticed that my jogging shorts do not have pockets to carry my keys and wallet. My solution was to ask every English speaking person I know where I could buy a fanny pack. This included my British co-worker, Libby, who looked startled and said “you mean a bum-bag?” ...it wasn't until later that I found out that “fanny” is British slang for a woman's private bits. Oops.

(I also got fuzzy bath mats!)

Anyway, before I embarrass myself further with my shopping, let's change the topic to my place of work! I work at Rakuhoku High School/Middle School here in the north part of Kyoto City. (You can find their website here) During my first week I sat down to learn what my school's name meant. My hope was that it would be something poetic, or at least the name of some important Japanese figure- but no, it just means “In the north part of Kyoto”. Blast. West Salem High School, eat your heart out.

Anyway, here are some photos from the teacher's office of my two native English-speaking coworkers.

This is Libby, from Yorkshire, England.

...and this is Snuffleupagus Rex III (Mike). He said I could only post his picture if I attributed some strange name to it. He is from Arizona, USA.

And finally, here I am, pretending to have some kind of discussion with Alistair.

In the office I generally keep myself busy by correcting papers, helping the other English teachers by checking their grammar, and making materials for lessons. This week I made cards for a game to practice verb tenses. With all that paper to cut into little pieces and laminate I needed to use...the office paper cutter!

But do not fear, gentle reader, because Japanese paper cutters are about the safest thing here in Japan. Whereas most paper cutters in America don't even have a shield device that covers the blade when not in use, the Japanese paper cutter has several safety devices. First, there is a little press that you crank down to hold your paper in place so your hand need not be anywhere near the blade. Second, there is a safety catch you have to disengage if you want to lower the blade arm to cut with. Finally, if this wasn't enough, there's a plastic safety shield that you can lower over the end where the cut paper comes out. Presumably this prevents any scraps of paper from flying up at the operator and maiming them horribly.

Aside from the world's safest office equipment, Japanese schools have another peculiarity. Every fall, at exactly the same time, High Schools across Japan have their “Culture Festivals.” What does this entail? In brief: cross-dressing, tea ceremonies, and deranged Disney characters. I will elaborate.

Cross-Dressing: The first part of the culture festival was the skits and dance numbers put together by the Senior High School students. The premises for most of these were pretty light and fluffy- a talent game show, getting stuck inside a Disney movie, preventing war between two native tribes dressed in shiny spandex, etc. But after the third skit or so I began to notice a unifying theme- in almost all of the performances there were many male students wearing the uniforms of their female counterparts. By the time we got to the Disney skit, I wasn't too surprised when Princess Jasmine (dressed in a two-piece pink silk number) began to speak in a pleasant baritone. Of course the whole thing was to be silly and goofy, but I can't imagine seeing the same thing at an American High School!

The Tea Ceremony: After the skits and musical performances, the rest of the culture festival was held in the Open-House style. Each High School homeroom and club put together some sort of amusement, in theory to showcase some kind of cultural theme. The tea ceremony club held many tea ceremonies in rapid succession, and I was lucky enough to attend the first one with my fellow foreign coworkers.

Mike was the first one into the tea room, and sat in the corner furthest from the door. This happens to be the seat that the most honored guest takes, so Mike had unknowingly signed himself up to be the recipient of the first cup of tea. This entailed turning the cup this way and that to admire it while everyone else looks on, but I'm getting ahead of myself. During the tea ceremony everyone kneels on the tatami mat floor. This meant that, as we allowed ourselves to enjoy the refined relaxation of the tea ceremony our legs slowly went totally numb. The ceremony lasted about twenty minutes, during which time we consumed fancy rice candy and frothy green tea. It reminded me of the church services I attended as a child, although the tea ceremony had the added bonus of one poor attendee sneezing while she drank her beverage. There is nothing that quite breaks the atmosphere of centuries of tradition like green tea exploding from a participant's nose. In all honesty I was grateful- it helped me relax.

When the ceremony ended we all stood to leave, at which point all the blood rushed back into my neglected legs. My only recourse was to grab a hold of the window sill as I realized I no longer knew how to walk. I had to be helped out by another teacher. Thus ended my experience of the Japanese tea ceremony.

Deranged Disney Characters: 

Need I say more? I found Winnie the Pooh in one of the classrooms, set up as a carnival game. The goal was to throw a little ball into his honey pot, but I suspect the reward was having Pooh shoot lasers from his eyes.

Another classroom was themed after Super Mario. We put on silly hats in theme with the game's characters and went through a little maze in which we collected coins, threw “blocks” at monsters, and eventually saved Princess Peach (alas, also a young man in drag).

And that, is pretty much a typical day at my office. Tune in next time when I describe my weekend trip to Osaka!

-Andrew

散歩しながら。。。

Every Monday my coworkers ask me what I did over the weekend. This weekend I stayed home and was extremely productive. I washed a week's worth of dishes, did laundry, went grocery shopping, tidied the house, and scrubbed my bathtub with what was probably tatami mat cleaner (oh well...). In an effort to share all of my new and exciting experiences with you, I am also beholden to say that I put my foot in a fresh omelet this weekend. It burned. In the future I am not going to put my dinner on the floor next to my bed and then forget about it when I go to get my beverage. As I believe the dangers of omelets extend beyond the island nation of Japan, please be forewarned.

Over the weekend I also started what I hope will be a daily regimen of taking an hour long walk by the local river. Doing so has given me an opportunity to sweat, enjoy the gorgeous scenery, and observe my Japanese neighbors. Today I shall describe some of the highlights.

(My home here in Japan is really pretty. It makes me a little giddy.)

One of the first things I noticed is that the Japanese also have dogs, and take them for daily walks at predictable times. I've been doing an informal count and the most common breeds are as follows:

Shiba Inu: These dogs hail from Japan, so it's only natural that I would see 5-times as many of these dogs as any other individual breed. I was rather taken with them before I came to Japan, so I was really pleased to see so many in person.

(Images taken from Wikipedia, the first was photographed by John Schanlaub)

Corgis: Corgis are a Welsh dog and the nearest and dearest to my heart. They are also popular here in Japan, and I've seen a number of them strutting around here.

(A photo of a local dog supplies shop and my own Corgi, Chester.)

Long-haired Dachshunds: For some reason I haven't seen any short haired Dachshunds, and I'm not sure why. But this breed makes a close third to the Corgi in the frequency I've seen them here.

(Again, I found this on Wikipedia. This is the illustrious “Champion Tekalhaus Krugerrand” owned by Debbie Clarke.)

Anyway, you can find most any dog breed represented here in Japan. The tendency is toward small dogs like the miniature poodle and the slightly larger Shiba Inu, but I have also seen Dalmatians and Labradors on my walks.

(Some more gratuitous beautiful photographs)

Next, there is a lot of wildlife to be seen on these walks. You see the usual small song birds, but there are also small pheasanty things that like to trot around the little islands on the river. There are also two different kinds of wading birds I've spotted, one smaller and white and the other almost identical to the herons I've seen at home.

(Apologies for the blurred bird. The heron was looking for its dinner and was not inclined to look at the funny foreign photographer.)

In the water itself you can also see carp, smaller fish, turtles, and very rarely eels. And of course insects abound, although most of them keep to themselves. We have cicadas, dragonflies, and butterflies. I've only seen one bee that was two inches long, but that was enough for me!

And of course, where there are small creatures to be seen there are also small children brandishing nets and plastic terrariums. I had read once that Pokemon was based in part upon its creator's memories of catching bugs when he was a child. I figured “oh sure, we do that here too.” but didn't quite realize the scale of what he was talking about. In America you might see one or two children each summer with a net or a bucket chasing the few creatures in the ecosystem that are smaller than they. Here in Japan the capture, examination, and eventual release of small creatures might as well be the national sport of the young. Each day that I've gone down to the river on a weekend, I've seen between 15-20 small kids armed with identical nets stalking through the tall grass and shallow pools. I've yet to see a wild pikachu appear, but god knows when one does, the kids here will be ready.

(Physician's Warning: If you are more than two meters tall, walking under this bridge may not be right for you.)

Finally, the variety of people you see down by the river are just as interesting as those in American parks. There are the relatively normal people who eat their dinner on the river bank, practice their traditional Japanese flute, or meet to walk their dogs together. There are also the young joggers who belt out the J-Pop lyrics on their iPods as they run and the old men who jog in tight shorts.

That's all for today! I would have written sooner, but I fell asleep yesterday at 7:30pm after taking my bag of rice for a walk. No, I will not explain myself.

-Andrew