Another Typical Day at the Offce

Good evening from rainy Japan!

With another two tropical storms due, it's been a little wet here in Kyoto. I've found that rain takes itself very seriously here in Japan, where downpours are more common than drizzles and buying a 200 yen umbrella is a bad idea.

Mercifully the shopping mall I went to this afternoon had some well-made umbrellas for sale. Thus, I am the proud new owner of a much larger, much plaid-er rain protection device.

The actual purpose of my going to the shopping mall was not to buy an umbrella. I wish I could say my purpose was that noble. Instead, I went to buy a fanny pack. In my ever-continuing efforts to get regular exercise, I noticed that my jogging shorts do not have pockets to carry my keys and wallet. My solution was to ask every English speaking person I know where I could buy a fanny pack. This included my British co-worker, Libby, who looked startled and said “you mean a bum-bag?” ...it wasn't until later that I found out that “fanny” is British slang for a woman's private bits. Oops.

(I also got fuzzy bath mats!)

Anyway, before I embarrass myself further with my shopping, let's change the topic to my place of work! I work at Rakuhoku High School/Middle School here in the north part of Kyoto City. (You can find their website here) During my first week I sat down to learn what my school's name meant. My hope was that it would be something poetic, or at least the name of some important Japanese figure- but no, it just means “In the north part of Kyoto”. Blast. West Salem High School, eat your heart out.

Anyway, here are some photos from the teacher's office of my two native English-speaking coworkers.

This is Libby, from Yorkshire, England.

...and this is Snuffleupagus Rex III (Mike). He said I could only post his picture if I attributed some strange name to it. He is from Arizona, USA.

And finally, here I am, pretending to have some kind of discussion with Alistair.

In the office I generally keep myself busy by correcting papers, helping the other English teachers by checking their grammar, and making materials for lessons. This week I made cards for a game to practice verb tenses. With all that paper to cut into little pieces and laminate I needed to use...the office paper cutter!

But do not fear, gentle reader, because Japanese paper cutters are about the safest thing here in Japan. Whereas most paper cutters in America don't even have a shield device that covers the blade when not in use, the Japanese paper cutter has several safety devices. First, there is a little press that you crank down to hold your paper in place so your hand need not be anywhere near the blade. Second, there is a safety catch you have to disengage if you want to lower the blade arm to cut with. Finally, if this wasn't enough, there's a plastic safety shield that you can lower over the end where the cut paper comes out. Presumably this prevents any scraps of paper from flying up at the operator and maiming them horribly.

Aside from the world's safest office equipment, Japanese schools have another peculiarity. Every fall, at exactly the same time, High Schools across Japan have their “Culture Festivals.” What does this entail? In brief: cross-dressing, tea ceremonies, and deranged Disney characters. I will elaborate.

Cross-Dressing: The first part of the culture festival was the skits and dance numbers put together by the Senior High School students. The premises for most of these were pretty light and fluffy- a talent game show, getting stuck inside a Disney movie, preventing war between two native tribes dressed in shiny spandex, etc. But after the third skit or so I began to notice a unifying theme- in almost all of the performances there were many male students wearing the uniforms of their female counterparts. By the time we got to the Disney skit, I wasn't too surprised when Princess Jasmine (dressed in a two-piece pink silk number) began to speak in a pleasant baritone. Of course the whole thing was to be silly and goofy, but I can't imagine seeing the same thing at an American High School!

The Tea Ceremony: After the skits and musical performances, the rest of the culture festival was held in the Open-House style. Each High School homeroom and club put together some sort of amusement, in theory to showcase some kind of cultural theme. The tea ceremony club held many tea ceremonies in rapid succession, and I was lucky enough to attend the first one with my fellow foreign coworkers.

Mike was the first one into the tea room, and sat in the corner furthest from the door. This happens to be the seat that the most honored guest takes, so Mike had unknowingly signed himself up to be the recipient of the first cup of tea. This entailed turning the cup this way and that to admire it while everyone else looks on, but I'm getting ahead of myself. During the tea ceremony everyone kneels on the tatami mat floor. This meant that, as we allowed ourselves to enjoy the refined relaxation of the tea ceremony our legs slowly went totally numb. The ceremony lasted about twenty minutes, during which time we consumed fancy rice candy and frothy green tea. It reminded me of the church services I attended as a child, although the tea ceremony had the added bonus of one poor attendee sneezing while she drank her beverage. There is nothing that quite breaks the atmosphere of centuries of tradition like green tea exploding from a participant's nose. In all honesty I was grateful- it helped me relax.

When the ceremony ended we all stood to leave, at which point all the blood rushed back into my neglected legs. My only recourse was to grab a hold of the window sill as I realized I no longer knew how to walk. I had to be helped out by another teacher. Thus ended my experience of the Japanese tea ceremony.

Deranged Disney Characters: 

Need I say more? I found Winnie the Pooh in one of the classrooms, set up as a carnival game. The goal was to throw a little ball into his honey pot, but I suspect the reward was having Pooh shoot lasers from his eyes.

Another classroom was themed after Super Mario. We put on silly hats in theme with the game's characters and went through a little maze in which we collected coins, threw “blocks” at monsters, and eventually saved Princess Peach (alas, also a young man in drag).

And that, is pretty much a typical day at my office. Tune in next time when I describe my weekend trip to Osaka!

-Andrew